Getting to Know Someone Online: Dating Tips for the Internet

One of the most popular misconceptions about online matchmaker sites is that the online experience is the ultimate goal. A funny cartoon that appeared in the New Yorker magazine illustrated this point. It showed a couple walking down a beach, enjoying a romantic moment. The man turned to the woman and said “This is so great, I can’t wait to find out what you are like online!”

Many of us think that online dating means dating online. But what it really means – in other words, where it really succeeds – is that it gives us a chance to meet people online, get to know them, and then move on to spending time together in person and face-to-face. Get overly distracted by spending time on the Internet and you will lose track of the main objective, which is to meet someone and develop a fun relationship.

Be courteous, honest, and keep your sense of humor. Social etiquette counts just as much online as it does in person. If you tell someone you’re going to email them, for example, follow through on your promise. Just as you would not stand someone up for a date or get-together offline, the same rules apply to online dating etiquette.

Protect your identity, privacy, and security. You would not get into a car with astranger or give all your personal information to someone you just met at a bar, so be mindful of the same security measures online. Get to know someone, and by all means trust your own instincts and intuitions. Keep in mind that there are plenty of other qualified candidates for you to date, so you don’t have to pin all your hopes on the first person you bump into online. And you don’t have to give out more information about yourself than you are comfortable sharing.

Do share your information when the time is right. When it is appropriate – and after the chemistry feels good and things are going well – you should begin to share more information with your potential romantic interests, so that you can move toward a face-to-face meeting. But start slow, maybe by swapping phone numbers. After you’ve talked on the phone for a while, arrange to meet in a public place for coffee or lunch, or to go out together in the company of some friends.

Remember that online dating is intended to create an online chemistry that will lead to face-to-face romance. Of course if you like to socialize online, that is fine. But people who subscribe to dating sites expect you to be serious about continuing the relationship in person. They expect – as you should – to go to dating sites and find romance, not just use the sites as a way to pass the time without any social follow-through.

Online Flirting – A New Art Form

Many of the same things work for online flirting that work for “brick and mortar” flirting and all relationships begin with successful flirting.  Flirting is an art that requires oozing confidence without being OTT.  If you go too far, she will label you “slimy” If you don’t go far enough, she will label you “wimpy”.  So how do you achieve that point half way between slimy and wimpy and do it online without using eye contact or body language?  All you have is a computer an internet connection and membership in an online dating site, right?

1.    Have fun!  Be light-hearted, funny and entertaining.  Make her eager to talk to you again.  Flirting is playful.

2.    Ooze confidence.  Successful flirts have a positive outlook on life.  You need to transmit the “feel good” factor.  An optimistic attitude attracts females like honey attracts flies.

3.  Compliment her…and do it often and sincerely.  Nothing opens doors like making her feel good about herself.  She will want to spend more time with you and if she pays you a compliment say “thank you”.  Do Not be self depreciating.

4.    Listen…listen….listen.  Pay attention to what she says and ask appropriate questions.  Get her to open up and talk about herself.  Make her feel like she is interesting and that you are interested in her.  Works wonders!

5.    Don’t be rude.  Flirting does not include being sexually explicit nor taking offence if the lady isn’t responding to you. If she isn’t interested, take the hint and move on to the next prospect.  If you get a lot of rejections, you should probably consider a different approach.

6.    Send an email after you chat.  This ranks right up there with sending a thank you note for a gift and it is vital to successful flirting.

Don’t try to go too fast.  Flirting is the first step to a successful relationship.